HTML Pages Pics

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Truth About Dear Lillie (Jason's May Post)

I expected our host to take care of this, but since she did not, please allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Jason Crotty.  I am Jenni’s only brother and Lillie’s favorite relative (in the coming months I will also surely become the favorite of Jenni’s newest child… whose name currently escapes me).  For those who have been following the Dear Lillie blog for some time, you may recognize me from the far-too-occasional shout-outs Jenni reluctantly throws my way (usually in reference to my fledgling of a blog).  I am entering the final few weeks of my senior year at Notre Dame, and I will be working for Dear Lillie full time beginning this summer.  Now on to the important stuff…

Uncle of the Year

Since Jenni has somehow justified taking another extended vacation, I thought that this might be as good an opportunity as ever to shed a little light on some of her deepest, darkest secrets.  Actually, I will only be exposing one, but I figured the promise of many certainly carried more weight than the pledge of but a single revelation.  Rest assured, however, that the information I am about to disclose is more enlightening than a complete list of her childhood crushes.

Through the medium of Dear Lillie, it appears that Jenni has found an outlet for all of those urges she gets to redecorate each room in her house on a monthly basis or to conjure up second-rate drawings on her new Mac.  She then feels the needs to parade eight of these projects in front of us every week.  In fact, many of you have commented on her previous posts—expressing both awe and admiration while wondering just how she combines her talent, taste, and creativity to seemingly complete a host of projects in less time than it takes most of us to make a TV dinner.  Well here’s an explanation… She doesn’t.

Yes, that’s correct.  For the last two years Jennifer Holmes has been routinely stealing my work and labeling it her own.  Never considering myself a vigilante, I figured the authority of law would act in accordance with the spirit of justice.  Apparently it did not… So consider this my first attempt at putting an end to her unfortunate misconduct.  No, there is probably nothing I will ever be able to do to interrupt her continual flow of jealousy, but it is time that she finally discontinued her overtly criminal behavior.

While being the lifeblood of my extended family certainly does require a serious time commitment, I have somehow also managed to dabble in the worlds of art, photography, home design, and child-rearing.  Probably not the areas of expertise you might expect from such a high-level collegiate athlete as myself (note: that’s a joke), but I do my best.  For the last two years, these efforts have been met with little-to-no recognition because Jenni has swindled nearly all of my most inspirational designs.

Now I am going to assume that your loyalties lie with my sister.  After all, why would you have any reason to believe me?  No cause for alarm—I have come prepared with evidence so undeniable that I am sure to win your trust.  I have posted below examples of my own work in contrast to the work Jenni claims to be her own, and quite honestly, I’d be shocked if you could tell the difference between the two.

Interior Design



Templates




Art


Photography


At this point, the verdict should be quite obvious.  After viewing the mountain of incriminating evidence I have presented you with, I suspect that even the most faithful among you would be unable to blame coincidence or kinship for the striking similarity in our work.  While I can’t fault you for wanting to give my sister the benefit of the doubt, I can only hope that rationality wins the day.

I realize that many of you may be overwhelmed with a blazing outrage after learning of Jenni’s highly unethical tactics, but I urge you not to judge her too harshly.  After all, I can only imagine what it must be like to live in the shadow of a younger sibling whose artistic resume makes your own look like mere child’s play.

So while it may be disheartening to learn of her pattern of creative betrayal, I encourage you to help Jenni use this as an opportunity for growth.  Perhaps you could send her an email or two offering words of encouragement.  Together, I trust that we can help her through this most difficult time.

And now you know the truth about Dear Lillie...
@evensmallertalk - Twitter

p.s. Jenni, the first step to recovery is admitting your mistake.  While I don’t expect you to do this anytime soon, I would like you to know that I accept your apology in advance.

77 comments:

  1. That is hilarious! Especially love the first photo with Lorelei added in :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh my gosh- this is an awesome post!!! love it! thank you so much for making me laugh this morning, and for sharing your talented photog skills with us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. :) Thanks for the laugh with my cup(s) of coffee this morning!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jason - your design, art and photography skills are AMAZING! I see the talent certainly runs in your family. :) Hilarious post - I needed a good laugh, so thank you! And I have two older brothers so I certainly know the plight of having brothers...constant teasing and torture! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jason obviously has a point...so many similarities in the talents. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  6. wow, i never knew jenni was so sneaky?! geesh! i mean...it is so obvious, right?! how did we not realize it before? thanks for showing us the light!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I knew it! Thanks for exposing her dirty little secret. lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well we are on the edge of seats to see what Jason brings our way in the art and design world!

    ReplyDelete
  9. thanks for laughs, great post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I knew she was too good to be true! My heart goes out to you,I'm the youngest in my family too, and our older siblings always take credit for "our" work! ;-)

    Kat :)

    P.S. I hope you are good at running really quickly the next time you see Jenni!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This post is hilarious. Perfect with my cup of coffee. What a wonderful brother you have (has he thought about law school?). Cherish him always or maybe you just need to punch him hahah. Hope all is well with you and the family!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ha ha. I knew it! I could tell Jenni was hiding something! I love that you cropped the baby in too... If I didn't have two brothers myself, I just might think something was fishy here......... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear Jason,

    When are you going to open your photography/art/home decor business? Your style is just amazing as demonstrated in the pictures above. I especially love the gorgeous print of the man sleeping. I may just have to purchase that for my dining room.
    LOL.
    This post was awesome! Totally what I needed on a blah Wednesday morning! :)
    ~Alison

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love this, its hilarious! It reminds me of something my younger collegiate brother would do :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. ok jason. you got me. i will add you to my google reader to add some zing to my design blog addiction.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LOVE!! Thank you for making me spew my tea all over my screen! What a great laugh for such a dreary morning!!
    And you gotta love younger brothers- I have two of them!!

    p.s.- Jason will you come decorate my house? ok well maybe not my house-maybe just the garage.
    p.s.s.- and I have a beautiful younger sister who is single.....LOL (and if she reads this she will KILL me)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I knew it! She totally copied you - that Jennifer. Too funny :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jason certainly has a penchant for story telling! Thanks for the laughs!! Can I come work for you too Jenni?

    ReplyDelete
  19. I would like to point out a few things to your dear brother which I'm sure he has indeed learned from a talented sister: 1. How cute is it that he's placed lined baskets under his coffee table (in my experience, this is a rarity amongst college men) 2. His sofa too, sports throw pillows and a sassy little throw blanket perched on its back. Hmmmm, perhaps the parallels with Jenni and her brothers decor style aren't obvious at first, I do think that good ole sis has rubbed off on her bro =)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Exactly what I needed today! I was laughing the whole way through!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm so glad you brought this information to light! I always suspected that she was ripping somebody off, I didn't think it was her brother, I thought it was Lillie~

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ah ha! It all makes sense now. I am outraged that your sister is a fraud! All hail Jason the king of home decor!!
    lol lol lol

    ReplyDelete
  23. We'll do whatever we can to support you during this expediential recovery Jenn...

    your brother will go far in his interior decorating career....what with him obviously persuing a design agree at Notre Dame and all...

    if that career doesn't work out for him he could think of being a writer

    xo+farm blessings,
    Anne Marie
    p.s. I laughed my butt off...which is a good thing considering it's tough to shed weight after the sixth child....

    ReplyDelete
  24. Too funny, talent obviously runs in the family, even if it is not of the same kind! Jason, I'd say you are uncle and brother of the year.
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  25. You are too funny, sir! Perhaps you should be pursuing a career in sarcastic journalism or.......

    Good thing we all love your sister!

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is sooo funny! It totally reminds me of something my little brother would do to me..ha! You all have such a fun and sweet family!
    Terrell

    ReplyDelete
  27. I can't believe a sister would do that to such a wonderful
    Brother like yourself. I will be emailing her asap! Haha!
    Seriously though, that's hilarious! :) Gentrilee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. HA! Loved it!! Thanks for makin me laugh! I have older and younger brothers... love them all!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Too funny. Wondering how your sister will get you back? ;)

    Kristel

    ReplyDelete
  30. Laughing aloud as I read this. I believe Jason could make it as a standup comedian if his employment at Dear Lillie doesn't work out. And Jenni, I will be praying for you --- you are going to have to be a firm "boss"!

    ReplyDelete
  31. haha Love it! Jenni always was the troublesome child-thank goodness Mom had the rest of us to ease the load! :)

    -Jamie

    ReplyDelete
  32. Coming from a girl with 3 brothers, that is hysterical!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Love your post Jason! I should ask my little brother to guest post on my blog too ;-). I'd love to hear what he has to say about my humble work ;-).

    ReplyDelete
  34. lollllllllllllllll so this is what brothers really doooooooooo lolllllllllllll

    ReplyDelete
  35. Jason, Spoken like a true (and ornery) brother!
    Wonderful post. I see that the vein of creativity runs deep in your family.
    Yvonne

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thank you for a great chuckle today. Jenni..I hope you are resting and enjoying those lil girls!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh my goodness, that was AWESOME ;-) Loved the whole thing!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Jenni, I am shocked at you! Here I just adored all you did and now this... All I can say is TEAM JASON! Now... go make a t-shirt with it!

    ReplyDelete
  39. A-ha!
    I suspected it all along. ;-)

    XO,
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  40. This explains a LOT! Thanks for clearing that up for us, Jason!

    ReplyDelete
  41. very funny. Thanks for the laugh. I do the same thing with my husband's ideas all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm pretty sure I laughed through the whole thing. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Jennifer, never share your passwords again!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Well, I'm glad the truth is out...I was wondering about her ;)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Great post....clever and fun~ loved it!! ;-)
    ~michelle~

    ReplyDelete
  46. With brothers like this who needs enemies? Very funny.

    ReplyDelete
  47. LOL!!! I love your sense of humor and your gift of words!!! You and your sister have quite the talent...so glad to get to read both of you. Jason...so glad you taught your sister so much...wow...can't wait to see all your new ideas this summer working for her. You are a hoot and so cute too!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Jason,
    You have an awesome witty writing ability. I laughed out loud at several parts. Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  49. :) Wow! The similarities are uncanny! Ha! This post made me giggle! There's one in every family, right? Your brother has a very creative voice in his writing. I bet you have a great relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I am sad to see that .Take care with your babies Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  51. Fabulous, well done!You are like twins, giggle... Hugs and wishes for a day filled with Happy!

    ReplyDelete
  52. This is by far the best blog post I've ever read! Love it, and I knew she had someone behind the scene making all these beautiful posts possible! I truly enjoyed meeting the master of inspiration behind the scenes!
    Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  53. I'm drinking my coffee and I think half of it only made it in my mouth...so funny! Sneaky brother and so cute :)
    XO
    Kristin

    ReplyDelete
  54. WOW. Shock and awe. Jason, would you come take photos of MY dad while sleeping? I can't believe that we were all deceived so easily. There's obviously raw talent in your fields of expertise.

    Thanks for the humor today! :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. I love your blog so much! Too cute. And this post was so sweet. :)
    Have a great rest of the week.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  56. Laughing & crying! You have the BEST brother! So cute!

    ReplyDelete
  57. He is adorable! I love this post. Wish I was younger so I could marry him. :)
    I have a younger brother too, so this sounds all too familiar.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Jason come run my blog anytime, I also have three boys and a girl that you can raise. Thanks for the many laughs and I hope to see you back here real soon!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Got to love brothers....BTW, I live 25 minutes from ND =)....Go Fighting Irish.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Histarical! I have 7 brothers so the second that I started reading, I recognized the sibling sarcasm. I love it. Feel free to post anytime. I was laughing out loud and my kids were looking at me like I was crazy. Very clever writing ;)

    ReplyDelete
  61. Haha--everything makes sense now! Too funny. Great post brother!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Oh My! Your creative photography photo is downright scary...lol

    ReplyDelete
  63. ohmy! you are too cute and too funny! lucky Jenni to have you for a bro!!

    ReplyDelete
  64. This was just too awesome!!! LOVED it! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  65. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  66. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  67. This is PRICELESS!! I especially loved the template comparisons :)) Good job!!
    Sincerely,
    Michella
    P.S. I pray your sweet baby girl is on the road to recovery!! Take care!!

    ReplyDelete
  68. This is drop down funny and so much a Brother! but a brother with wit,and great writing skills....and who obviously loves his Sis...yeap I would say for his nieces the best Uncle....laughed out loud and needed it...than you

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...